


15 Years

by honeybunchesofgoats



Category: Free!
Genre: Childhood, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Manipulation, Immaturity, Inappropriate Behavior, Incest, Not Kink, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5826583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybunchesofgoats/pseuds/honeybunchesofgoats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into how Rin and Ai's relationship develops and changes as they age and its emotional repercussions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	15 Years

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore the development of an incestual relationship between siblings, and how childlike curiosity can be warped and manipulated, even if the intentions were innocent in the beginning. I didn't write this as a kink fic, but I didn't want to censor it either, so I did write explicit scenes but tried to use different language to communicate what was happening. I'm extremely hesitant to post this because I can't control how people interpret it, but I also spent a lot of time on writing something and figure why the hell not.
> 
> Each new section will list their ages, so you can follow along as they grow up.

­­The first time Rin met Aiichirou, the two year old thought his new brother was the ugliest little worm.  He remembered scrunching his nose at the infant's scent, that earthy, powdery smell that lingers on a baby's wet paper skin, fresh out of the womb.

"This is your new brother, Rin.  His name is Aiichirou."

Aiichirou had just lain there, his eyes closed and his mouth shiny with spit.

"Did I look like that when I was born?"

He remembered his mother laughing and kissing the top of his head.

"Pretty similar.  Only you had tufts of fluffy red hair on your head.  I wonder if Aiichirou will have red hair like you."

Rin's hair had taken after his father's, whereas his mother had light silvery hair with a lilac tint.  Sometimes it looked gray or blue, depending on the day.  Aiichirou, though, was as bald as a bowling ball.  Maybe he wouldn't grow any hair at all, that would be something.  Rin laughed at his own thought, picturing his brother all grown up with no hair.

* * *

 

\--3,1--

Aiichirou, as it turned out, did grow hair.  It was exactly like his mother's, pale and soft, and straight as a pin.  Aiichirou also grew out of his newborn body and turned out to be an unbearably cute baby.  He had a round, chubby face and big, bright blue eyes.  Although Aiichirou was no longer an ugly, screeching larva, Rin still found his younger brother to be annoying.  Whenever he would try to play with his toys, Aiichirou had to be right there with him, drooling and teething over all his favorite games and stuffed animals, or knocking down his building blocks with a shriek of gleeful laughter.  Rin _hated_ it.  To add insult to injury, his mother would yell at _him_ , not _Aiichirou_ , because "Aiichirou is only a baby, you're the big boy, Rin."

So what?  Just because Rin was the Designated Big Boy of the two didn't mean he couldn't get angry.  He was positive his mother would get mad at Aiichirou too if she caught him chewing on the jewelry she treasured, or tearing up the plants in her garden.  Rin figured his mother should play with Aiichirou for a while.  Then she'd understand.

* * *

 

\--4,2--

When Aiichirou turned two, he could walk and talk and Rin finally realized his brother absolutely adored him.  Actions he used to find annoying now were now endearing, and now when Aiichirou followed him around the house, Rin held his chin high, fully accepting the hero worship his brother showered on him.  Their relationship shifted.  Rin was always sure to keep an eye on Aiichirou, always included him in his playtime, always shared his snacks.  Their parents always commented on what a good older brother Rin was, and always reminded Rin how much Aiichiriou loved him.  The four year old would always puff out his tiny chest and declare that he loved Aiichirou, too.  The two were inseparable.  They were best friends.

* * *

 

\--5,3--

"No, Rin, please don't leave.  I don't want you to go!"

Fat tears rolled down Aiichirou's cheeks as he clutched to Rin's new backpack.  It was Rin's first day of kindergarten and the first of many days Aiichirou would have to play alone.  Rin wouldn't deny that he was nervous to start school, but only because he had to leave his little brother at home.  Overall, he was excited, as it clearly showed when he had picked out dinosaur shaped erasers and a pencil box with sharks on it, barely able to contain himself in the office supply store as he ran down the aisles grabbing whatever he could find.  He tried to include Aiichirou as much as he could, letting the younger sibling help pack his backpack and choose what snacks went in Rin's lunchbox.  His mother told him he was a Very Responsible Big Brother at the time, and Rin wanted to keep that title, so he turned around and hugged his crying brother.

"It's okay, Ai, I'll be home soon!"

He repeated what he heard his mother say to Aiichirou earlier and tried to sound as reassuring as possible.  He thought he did a good job but the three year old continued to cry.

"When I get home we can play outside and I'll even push you on the swing!"

Sobs soon turned to sniveling and hiccups and Rin leaned down to kiss Aiichirou's button nose.

"It won't be for long.  I'll be home in no time."

Aiichirou looked at Rin with watery eyes and when Rin smiled, the younger boy nodded his head and smiled back, even allowing a giggle to escape.  Their mother scooped Aiichirou up on her hip and together they walked out the door to the school bus stop.  With kisses exchanged and calls of "good luck, have fun," Rin ran off to the bus and waved enthusiastically to his mother and Aiichirou through the window.

They watched the yellow bus drive off down the street until it turned out of sight.  Aiichirou rested his head on his mother's shoulder and sighed.

"Oh, baby, I know.  Don't worry, we'll have fun today.  How about we go back home and make pancakes?  That sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

And thus, the ritual of making breakfast together was born.  Mother and son made all sorts of food every day after Rin left for school, and continued to until Aiichirou started kindergarten himself.

* * *

 

\--9,7--

"Hey, Ai, do you know what a French kiss is?"

Aiichirou turned from the hole he was digging in their back yard and tilted his head.  Rin was leaning forward on his knees, his face inches from his brother's.

"No?  Is it from France?"

Rin burst out laughing, hanging his head and banging his fist in the dirt.  Aiichirou frowned.

"Nope."  Rin brushed his hair behind his ear, a habit he did often to keep his mop of hair out of his eyes.  Aiichirou sported a bowl cut specifically so he wouldn't have that problem, but Rin refused a haircut every time his mother tried to bring him to the hairdresser's.

"Well, what is it?"

Rin made a motion with his hand beckoning for Aiichirou to lean closer.

"It's when," Rin's breath tickled Aiichirou's ear, "two people touch their tongues together."

"Why?"  Aiichirou looked at Rin questioningly.  He didn't understand.  "That's kind of gross!"

Rin shrugged.  "I don't know.  Grown-ups do it all the time in movies."

Aiichirou furrowed his brow and pursed his lips.  "Grown-ups are weird."

"Hey," Rin leaned forward with a glint in his eyes, "Wanna try?"

He had the same grin he wore when he was planning something mischievous or exciting.

"Sure, I guess."

Rin licked his lips and shifted closer.  "Okay, stick out your tongue."

Aiichirou complied and Rin did the same.  The two of them closed their eyes and slowly leaned towards each other until they felt the very tips of their tongues touch, and then pulled away, both falling back in the dirt.  Rin was giggling while Aiichirou was making exaggerated sounds of disgust.

"Ai!"  Rin kneeled over Aiichirou.

"What?"

"We French kissed!"

Aiichirou covered his face.  "I know!  It was gross!"

"Wanna do it again?"

Aiichirou peeked at Rin through his fingers.  "...Okay."  Without prompting, Aiichirou stuck out his tongue and Rin followed suit, leaning down until his hair brushed against the sides of Aiichirou's cheeks.  He hovered there for a moment, looking down at his brother's face, shadowed by the curtain of his hair.  It felt like they had privacy, and something fluttered inside Rin, making his heart speed up and his stomach feel warm.  He touched his tongue to Aiichirou's and held it there a second longer than before.  This time, he could feel the way they slid against each other, and he marveled at the odd, tasteless sensation of feeling another person's tongue with his own.  Aiichirou opened his eyes and smiled, covering his mouth, giggling.

"That's so gross!"

Rin smiled against the back of Aiichirou's hand and then was pushed off on his back.

"You're probably the only second grader who now knows what a French kiss is."

Aiichirou sat up and went back to digging.

"So what.  French kisses are weird."

Rin shuffled over and helped Aiichirou dig.  "They are!"

The two of them dug for a while, widening the hole by a few inches and collecting the rocks they came across into small piles.

"I like normal kisses better."

Rin nodded his head in agreement and Aiichirou puckered his lips expectantly at him.  Without hesitation, Rin pecked his brother on the lips and went back to digging.

With their combined efforts, the two got their hole about a foot deep before their mother called them in to wash up for dinner.

* * *

 

\--10,8--

By the time Rin was in fifth grade he had set his own reputation as being the cool, yet lovable kid at school.  He was popular because his charming, sweet personality pulled others to him, and his competitive streak pulled him to others.  Aiichirou thought it was kind of funny that despite what a sore loser Rin was, he was always so quick to make everything into a challenge.  Rock, paper, scissors was his favorite method of declaring the verdict, but Aiichirou always refused to play those games.  Not that Rin ever challenged him.  Maybe it was because he was Rin's little brother, but Rin treated him differently than he did his other friends.  Aiichirou felt protected and safe when he was with Rin.  It made him feel special.

Aiichirou wasn't unpopular, per se, but his shyness put him on the sidelines.  He didn't have many friends, even though his big brother always included him in his own friend circle.  Others kept their opinions of Aiichirou to themselves, respecting him because he was Rin's little brother.  Out of all the kids in his class, Aiichirou enjoyed a boy named Rei's company the most, but Rei was much closer to a boy named Nagisa, who Aiichirou was wary of.  Nagisa loved Aiichiriou, loved to push his buttons, and adored Rin.  He always told Aiichirou that he was so different from Rin, it was almost like they weren't even brothers!  Aiichirou knew Nagisa didn't mean anything by it, but he didn't like hearing it.  It rubbed him the wrong way.  Being Rin's brother was the thing he was most proud of.

Despite Aiichirou's inability to form a close bond with anyone, Rin had two best friends, two best friends that didn't even like each other.  Haruka and Sousuke.  Nagisa one time asked him if he were jealous that Rin had other best friends, but the thought of jealousy honestly had never crossed his mind.  Why would he be jealous?  He knew Rin loved him.  He didn't doubt Rin's affections.  He wasn't the most confident person, but Aiichirou wasn't _that_ insecure.  In fact, his bond with Rin was the most secure, stable thing in his life.

"Ai!  Heads up!"

Aiichirou turned towards the voice only to be knocked over by kickball to the head.  When he opened his eyes, bright golden ones filled his vision.

"Are you okay?"

Momo stepped back and gave Aiichirou space as the boy sat up.  Momo was the third boy Aiichiriou could call a friend.

"You took that hit like a champ!  You're so amazing!  No wonder you're Rin's brother!"

There was no trace of sarcasm in Momo's voice, only pure enthusiasm.  Aiichiriou rubbed his head and took Momo's offered hand to be pulled up.  Momo followed Aiichirou around like a puppy and it almost made Aiichirou feel like an older brother.  An older brother to a very small, small toddler.  Momo was only a year younger than him and definitely not an actual toddler, but he was exhausting to keep up with.  At the end of the day, Aiichirou didn't mind his company.  He supposed it was better than being alone.

"Momo, be more careful next time."

The redhead tugged on his arm and laughed.  "I should say the same to you, Ai!"

Aiichirou sighed and let himself be dragged across the kickball field.  There were only five minutes left of recess, thankfully.

\--

"What happened to your head?"

Aiichirou pulled his swimming cap over his hair.  "Is there something on my head?"

Rin rubbed his thumb over a spot on Aiichirou's forehead, making the younger wince.

"There's a bruise."

"Oh!  Momo kicked a ball at my head during recess.  He didn't mean it, though."

Rin rolled his eyes.  "He's got to be more careful, that one.  Are you sure you're okay?"

Aiichirou nodded his head and smiled when he saw Rin's face relax.

"Kiss?"

Rin looked around to make sure no one was nearby and then pecked his brother on the lips.  Aiichirou giggled and got back to changing for swim practice.

\--

Their mother banged on the bathroom door.

"Are you two in the shower again?  You know you're getting too old for that!"

Rin had suds up to his elbows as he washed Aiichirou's hair.  He rolled his eyes and hollered back to his mother.

"Whatever, mom!"

Their mother smiled and shook her head.  "Just wait, Rin.  In another year or two you'll be wanting your privacy!"

Aiichirou waited until the suds were washed away from his face before looking over his shoulder at Rin with huge, worried eyes.

"What does she mean?  Why won't you want me to shower with you?"

Rin shrugged.  "Dunno.  But she's wrong, Ai.  I'll always want you to play with me, no matter where."

"Rin!"  Aiichirou threw his arms around his brother and nuzzled into his chest, slipping a little on the shower floor.  "Promise you'll never get bored of me!"

Rin rolled his eyes and stepped under the shower spray, laughing when Aiichirou spluttered.  "Don't even think like that, Ai.  Why would I ever get bored of you?"  Rin playfully flicked him on the forehead.  "Don't be stupid."

Aiichirou shrugged.  "'Cause mom said you would?"

Rin kissed his brother on the nose.  "Well, mom is wrong this time."

\--

With their teeth all brushed and their hair all combed, the two climbed into Rin's bed and waited for their parents to come say good night.  Like every night, their mother came in first, and like every night, she told Aiichirou to sleep in his own bed.

"You're getting too old to be sleeping with your brother.  Big boys sleep in their own beds."

Aiichirou always sulked to his bed, climbing in and pouting.  "But I like sleeping with Rin."

His mother ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead.  "I know, Aiichirou, but you're both growing up.  Growing boys need their space.  It's important.  Okay?"

This was their routine every night before their father came in.  The two brothers waited patiently for their father's kiss good night, and then once the light was out and their door was shut, Aiichirou scurried back to Rin's bed.

"I don't like sleeping in my bed."  Aiichirou's voice was barely a whisper.

Rin yawned and pulled Aiichirou close, spooning him from behind.

"I don't like you in your bed, either."

Aiichirou hummed happily and closed his eyes, soothed by the feel of Rin's breath on the back of his neck.  Rin was his world.  He couldn't imagine being apart from his brother.

* * *

 

\--12,10--

"Why do you have hair there?"

Aiichirou looked at Rin's groin with confusion.  Rin had just entered middle school and had been having a growth spurt.  He was at least eight inches taller than Aiichirou now.  And like some 12 year olds, Rin had started going through puberty.

Rin looked down at the thin dusting of hair starting to fill in around the base of his penis and lower abdomen.  There was hardly anything there, but it definitely wasn't smooth and hairless like his brother's skin still was.

"I don't know.  Mom and dad said it happens when you start to grow up.  You'll grow hair there too when you're my age."

"Really?"

Rin shrugged.  "I guess so."

"Can I touch it?"

Rin scowled and crossed his arms.  "Why?"

Aiichirou looked up at his brother and tilted his head.  "'Cause I wanna see what it feels like."

Rin rolled his eyes.  "Fine."

He wasn't prepared for the gentle touch of fingers against his skin and he started to blush as Aiichirou ran his fingertips along his stomach down to his groin and then back up again.

"H-hey."

Aiichirou looked up at Rin, completely unaware of his brother's flustered state.  "What?"

"Uh... Does it feel weird?"  Rin didn't know what else to ask or why he was feeling so strange.

Aiichirou ran his fingers along Rin's skin for a few more seconds before losing interest.  The younger boy shrugged.  "Not really."

"Oh.  That's good, I guess."

The sound of water gurgling through the pipes broke through the one-sided heavy silence and dispersed the tension with the splatter of water against the tub's floor.  Aiichirou adjusted the temperature before stepping in and then looking at Rin expectantly.  Rin stepped in after him and soon fell back into their comfortable routine of washing each other and singing duets off key.

\--

Despite their mother's adamant scolding, the two continued to sleep in the same bed.  Even when their parents threatened to separate their rooms, they snuck into each other's beds in the middle of the night, uncaring of the consequences.  Their mother was less than pleased when she found one bed empty and the other occupied by two children every morning.  She was worried that Aiichirou was too dependent on Rin and wouldn't branch out and establish his own place in life.  She didn't know what to do when he sobbed uncontrollably at her mentioning that he needed to sleep by himself.

Rin always took Aiichirou's side, too, which made their mother even more exasperated.  How could she tell Aiichirou that Rin needed his privacy and space when Rin himself was claiming he wanted to keep sharing a bed?  In the end, after months of arguing with her children, their mother settled on compromising.  If they agreed to take part in one extracurricular activity each, without their brother, then she would stop enforcing that they sleep in their own bed.  This way, she was assured each child was getting proper time apart and could develop social skills without each other's influence.  And she was sure that Rin would wake up soon and smell the coffee once he started going through more changes and needed time alone.

\--

Rin woke up one night with feeling he was unfamiliar with.  There was an odd sensation settled in his groin and he was amazed at the size of the tent in his boxers.  He was used to getting smaller tents occasionally, but this was something entirely new.  His face felt hot as he reached down and touched himself through the fabric, amazed at how _good_ it felt.

"Rin?"

Aiichirou's voice was heavy with sleep and when Rin looked over, his brother's eyes were barely open.

"Go back to sleep, Ai."

Aiichirou scooted closer, snuggling up to Rin's side and started to drift off.  Rin bit his lip and tried to steady his breathing through his nose as he lifted the elastic waist band over, freeing his erection.  He wrapped his hand around it and started stroking it slowly, exploring the new feeling.

"What're you doin'?"

His younger brother's eyes were opened now and watching him.  Rin felt a wave of something akin to embarrassment wash over him as he froze and tensed up.

"Nothing, go back to sleep."

Aiichirou sat up.

"What are you doing to your privates?"

Rin looked down and pulled his hand away like he was burned, then shoved himself back in his boxers.

"Nothing.  I just woke up and it felt funny so I was looking at it."

"Can I see?"

Rin pouted and rolled over so his back was to Aiichirou, and brought the covers up to his chin.  "No."

"Aw, why not?"

Rin threw a look at Aiichirou over his shoulder.  "Why do you always ask the strangest things?"

His brother looked hurt for half a second before scowling at Rin.  "It's not strange!  I just want to see!"

"Fine!"

Rin resumed his position laying on his back and threw the covers down around his legs.  He reached down and pulled his erection back out.

"I woke up and it was hard."

Aiichirou looked at Rin with wide eyes, full of amazement.  "What does it feel like?"

Rin stroked it a few times.  "It feels good when I touch it."

"Like when we play in the shower?"

"It's a little different than that."

His brother watched him, completely fascinated before laying back down and resting his head on Rin's chest.  Rin continued to touch himself, unable to hold onto self control and cried out in surprise when he came.

"Holy shit!"

Rin looked at the semen on his hand and stomach, his face heating up.

"Rin, what is that stuff?  Is it pee?"

"No... It's... Uh, they taught it to us in health class.  When you grow up you also have this other stuff that can come out."

"Did it hurt?"

Rin laughed.  "Uh, no.  It felt really good."

Aiichirou sat up and looked down at Rin with a calculating look.  "Can you do that to me?  I want to try."

Rin sat up, grimacing at the mess, and reached over his brother for the box of tissues.  "No, I think you have to be older."

His brother pouted.  "Please?  I'm old enough!"

"You're ten years old!"

"Rin, _please_ , you're not being fair!"

God, Aiichirou could be annoying sometimes.  "Fine.  Lay on your back."

His brother squeaked in triumph and followed Rin's directions.  Rin pulled Aiichirou's underwear down and paused, his hand hovering over his brother's flaccid penis.  Would this even work?  His brother hadn't even started to grow hair down there yet.

"Rin!"  His brother's harsh whispering made Rin _tisk_ in annoyance and take his brother's penis in his hand and started stroking it carefully.

"What does it feel like?"

Aiichirou sighed and his eyes fluttered closed.  "Feels good."

"Really?"

"Mhmm.  Like when you wash me in the shower."

Rin blinked in surprise.  "Huh."

He continued to touch his brother, gently running his hand up and down Aiichirou's penis slowly.  His brother arched his back and squirmed before settling in place, sighing contently as he started to drift back off to sleep.  When Rin was sure his brother's breathing had evened out, he tucked Aiichirou back into his underwear and brought the covers back up over them.  He laid his head next to his brother's on their pillow and studied Aiichirou's sleeping face.  An odd feeling washed over him and he was unsure what it was.  He knew his mother would be angry if she found out that they did this, but he couldn't understand why.  He didn't feel like they did anything wrong.  He felt safe because he was with his brother.  His brother was his best friend.  They loved each other.

Unable to fight sleep off any longer, Rin closed his eyes and let himself fall back into oblivion.

* * *

 

\--13,11--

"Rin, give it to me!  It's my turn!"

Aiichirou climbed over his brother trying to reach the PlayStation controller Rin was holding out of his reach.

"Nope, I won again so that means I get to play the next turn."

"But you've been playing the whole time!  It's my turn now!"

Aiichirou jumped up, pushing Rin's head down and toppling him over.  He scrambled to the controller and yanked it out of his brother's hand.  Rin smirked when Aiichirou shot him a dirty look.

"Happy now, Ai?"

Aiichirou stuck his tongue out at Rin.  "You're a meanie."

"Not really.  My birthday is tomorrow so I _should_ get to play the game all day."

Aiichirou narrowed his eyes at his soon to be 13 year old brother.  "Key word; _tomorrow_."

They sat together while Aiichirou played and as soon as he lost, Rin pounced on him.

"You lose! My turn!"

"Rin!"  Aiichirou clutched the controller to his chest.  "It's still my turn!  You had it for way longer!"

Rin was straddling his brother and had his shoulders pinned down under his hands.  They stared at each other, Rin's eyes shining with rough play induced adrenaline and Aiichirou's burning with defiance and determination.  Rin felt the fluttering feeling he would get in his stomach whenever he got close to his brother.  Aiichirou looked up at Rin and felt himself blush under his brother's intense gaze.  He wanted to reach up and touch his brother's face, tuck the flop of red hair behind his ear, but that meant surrendering the game controller.

"Ai."

Aiichirou waited a few seconds, staring his brother down, and then started to thrash, trying to get free.  Rin pressed himself harder down on his brother, holding him in place.  Something felt like fire in Aiichirou's lower stomach and his heart picked up pace as he pressed his body up, pushing himself between Rin's legs.

"Ai, give me the controller!"

"No!"

He rolled over onto his stomach so he could shelter the controller between himself and the floor, further blocking it from Rin's grasp.  He pushed his bottom up against Rin, halfheartedly trying to throw him off.  Rin only pushed himself down harder onto Aiichirou and leaned forward mumbling into the back of Aiichirou's neck.

"Give it up, Ai."

"No!"

Rin thrust his hips down, pushing Aiichirou harder into the floor.

"Give it!"

Aiichirou bit his lip and giggled.  "No!"

He felt Rin smile against his skin.  "You little brat!  You're enjoying this!"

"Not-uh!"

Rin thrust his hips again.  "I'll get you to surrender!"

"No you won't!  It's still my turn!"

Aiichirou squirmed underneath his brother, giggling as Rin pressed his thighs tighter around him and pressed further against his backside.

"Fine, you leave me no choice."  Rin raised his hands up and hovered them over Aiichirou's sides.

"Wait, Rin--"

The grin Rin wore was feral as he started to tickle his brother mercilessly.  Aiichirou screamed, twisting and wiggling, bucking his hips back to get his brother off of him.

"Give up yet, Ai?"

"Never!"

Rin grunted as he struggled to stay on top of his brother, leaning so Aiichirou's bottom hit him _there_.  The sparks he felt running up his spine was a new kind of adrenaline and he gave in to the temptation and held his brother to the floor and thrust his hips down hard.

"Give up yet?"

"No!"

Aiichirou's voice was breathy and he laid still, panting, trying to catch his breath from the tickling.  Rin huffed and tried to turn Aiichirou over to pry his arms from his chest to get the controller.

"You little..."

Aiichirou giggled.  "Wait, wait, Rin!  I'll give it to you in exchange for something."

Rin slackened his hold on his brother and Aiichirou rolled over so he was on his back, clutching the controller to his chest.

"What do you want?"

Aiichirou smiled up at Rin and wiggled his hips, unaware of what his actions implied.

"I want a kiss!"

"That's it?  We kiss all the time!"

"No, not a normal kiss.  I want a French kiss."

Rin stared down at him.  "You _do_ know they're not the same as we thought when we were younger, right?"

Aiichirou nodded his head.  "I heard Kou talking about how she kissed her boyfriend.  She described how she did it.  I wanna try."

"Kou has a boyfriend?  Jeeze!  You guys are like, 11!"

"Rin, focus!  I want to try a French kiss."

Rin narrowed his eyes.  "Then you'll give me the controller?"

"Cross my heart, Rin."

"Fine."  Rin leaned down and then stopped.  "I uh, don't really know what to do."

"Kou said that she put her mouth on her boyfriend's and then they put their tongues together."

"That's... kind of weird, isn't it?"

"But she said she liked it!  So I wanna try."

"Okay, we'll try it, then."

Rin licked his lips and hovered over Aiichirou's face a moment longer before pressing his mouth to his brother's.  They both closed their eyes and then waited, unsure about how to proceed onto the next step.  Aiichirou was the one who took initiative and opened his mouth against Rin's, and Rin gasped in surprise when he felt his brother's tongue at his lips.  But he was not one to back down from a challenge, so he opened his mouth and licked back, furrowing his brow at the strange, wet feeling.  Both boys didn't know what they should do, so they rubbed their tongues together for a few seconds before pulling apart.

"Did... Did we do it right?"

Aiichirou stared up at his brother.  "I don't know."

Rin looked unsure of himself.  "But... did you like it?"

"I... It was weird.  But I think I liked it.  Because it was with you, Rin."

Rin nodded his head.  "Same here."

Both smiled at each other and Rin leaned down to kiss Aiichirou on the nose.

"We can always try again later."

Aiichirou nodded.  "Right!"

Rin unstraddled his brother, and held his hand out.  "I think you owe me my turn."

Aiichirou gave him the controller with no complaints, touching his fingers to his lips with his other hand.  Both boys sat and played the video game, ignoring the feeling in their pants, and didn't argue for the rest of their playtime.

* * *

 

\--14,12--

"How come I don't have hair there yet?"

Rin was pouring a bath and had his back turned to his brother.

"What?  Have hair where?"

Aiichirou was naked, looking down at his own body.

"Like you!  Why don't I have hair under my arms and on my privates yet?"

Rin quirked an eyebrow and turned back to the tub, pouring in a good amount of bubble bath.  "Cause you haven't hit puberty yet."

"But you said I would when I turned 12!"

"I never said that!"

Aiichirou stomped his foot.  "Yes you did!  You were twelve when you got hair and said I would too when I got to that age."

Bubbles formed as Rin swirled his hand around under the water.  "It's different for everyone.  Mom said I started early."

"That's not fair."

Rin let out a small laugh.  "It's just how it is, Ai.  Why do you want to go through puberty so badly, anyway?"

Aiichirou walked up to his brother, who helped him step into the tub.

"Because I want to be like you."

Rin scooped up some water and poured it on Aiichirou's head.  "Lean your head back so the suds don't go in your eyes."

Rin washed his brother in silence.  He went to grab a towel after they were finished, but was stopped by a hand on his wrist.

"Ai?"

His brother was kneeling in the water, holding himself up on the side of the tub to lean out so he could reach Rin.  His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open, as if he were going to say something but stopped himself.  Rin swallowed.  Lately he had been becoming more and more aware of his brother's body and how his own responded to it.  His parents had told him that hormones would make him think confusing thoughts.  "Gross things" would not seem so gross anymore, and it was normal for him to become interested in them.  They said he'd want to kiss girls and hold their hands and have his "alone time" as they called it  But they didn't say anything about getting those feelings when he looked at his brother.

"...Ai?"

His brother blinked a few times and then snapped his mouth shut.  He looked down and let go of Rin's wrist.  "Um.  Can I play with you?"

Rin swallowed again.  Usually they only did this at night, in the safety of the darkness, or real quick in the shower while they were washing up.

"But mom could come home any minute."  Rin's voice was a harsh whisper.

Aiichirou sat back in the water and brought his knees up to his chest.  "Please?"

"I'm not even hard right now, anyway."

"But I can make you hard!  I know how!"

Rin bit his lip and looked to the bathroom door and back at his brother.  "Fine, but we have to be quick."  Aiichirou's head snapped up and he followed Rin with his eyes as Rin locked the bathroom door.  He smiled as Rin kneeled back down on the floor, giddy that his brother gave in.  Aiichirou turned around and got on his knees, lifting his backside out of the water so his bottom was facing his brother and shook his hips.

Rin pressed his lips into a hard line and reached between his brother's legs, cupping his balls and squeezing, before sliding his hand around his brother's penis and stroking it.  Water sloshed against the tub's walls and echoed, sounding too loud in the tiny bathroom.  Aiichirou gasped and looked at Rin over his shoulder with lidded eyes.

"Rin..."

Rin looked away, trying to avoid his brother's gaze, but gave in and turned back, unable to resist the temptation of seeing Aiichirou's face when he was like this.  He was transfixed, completely captivated by the feel of his brother in his hand and his bright blue eyes.

"Ai."

He leaned forward and bumped his nose against his brother's, tilting his head and letting their lips brush together.  His stomach flipped and he closed his eyes, chasing the rush, the excitement, the burning, tingling feeling and let their lips touch again.  Aiichirou leaned back into his brother, water painting dark spots along Rin's shirt.  All Rin could hear was the blood pounding through his veins and Aiichirou's sharp inhales.  He never understood the appeal of kissing with tongue until this moment, when all he wanted was to open his mouth and taste, to feel his brother's breath dance with his own.  This was all so _new_ and _exciting_ and it felt so _good_.

"Ai," he kept his voice a whisper, "We should kiss."

His brother nodded his head and soon their lips were sliding together, still sloppy and unpracticed, but desperate.  He felt his brother's hand reach blindly for his crotch, and Rin placed it over the bulge in his shorts, rolling his hips against it. This is something Rin could get used to.

This is something he wanted to do again and again.

\--

More often than not, Rin would wake up with an erection or a mess in his boxers.  He'd been feeling hornier than usual lately, it was almost maddening, like getting off was all he could think about.  Peers around him in school started talking about sex, things they claimed to do with their boyfriend or girlfriend, things they watched on the internet, and part of Rin knew they were mostly all talk, but he still felt curious.

Especially now since Aiichirou had started waking up in the same predicament.  It was almost a morning ritual, finding themselves in need of release.  Sometimes his brother would flush himself against Rin's back and rub himself off, pushing his clothed erection into Rin's bottom while Rin touched himself at the same time.  Other times their places were reversed, and sometimes they lay front to front, grinding against each other while they kissed.

Then they'd get up and start their day, showering and dressing for school.

\--

"Time?"

Rin looked down at the stopwatch and nodded once to himself.

"You shaved off 2 seconds.  Good job, Ai."

His brother smiled and took his swim cap off with one hand, his other still on the side of the pool.  He was panting heavily and looked up at Rin.

"Hey, come on, get out of the pool."

Rin helped pull Aiichirou out and wrapped a towel around his shoulders and offered his brother his inhaler.  "Here."

Aiichirou accepted his inhaler and soon caught his breath.

"Thank you, Rin."

"You should really take it easy."

"But the relay is coming up!  This is our last race together before you go to high school!"

Rin scowled.  "That doesn't mean kill yourself at practice!"

"I'm not killing myself!  Rin, I'm fine!"

Rin shot his brother an angry look before the both of them were yelping in surprise as Nagisa jumped on their backs, an arm around each of their necks.

"Ai Ai!  Rin Rin!"

Rin's expression relaxed into one of casual mock annoyance while Aiichirou frowned and tried to dislodge himself from Nagisa's hold.

"Um, please don't call me that!"

Nagisa pulled Aiichirou closer and rested his chin on Aiichirou's shoulder.  "But you're so cute!"

Aiichirou looked away, all sorts of uncomfortable.  He pouted when his brother laughed at him.

"Rin."  A fourth voice got the three's attention.  Haruka was standing at one of the starting blocks.  "Swim with me."

Rin never needed to be asked twice when it came to Haruka.  He always had a fascination with the quiet boy since they met in kindergarten. A mixture of strong admiration and a sense of respect.  In Rin's eyes, Haruka was perfection.

"I'll race you!"  Rin took off running towards his best friend.

"Ah, Rin!  Please don't run!"

Aiichirou's concerns fell on deaf ears and he sighed as he watched his brother dive into the water.  It was a miracle that boy had yet to crack his head open on the wet cement.

Nagisa squeezed Aiichirou's shoulders as he whispered in his ear.  "Your brother totally has a crush on Haru."

"What?  How do you know?"

Nagisa giggled.  "Are you blind?  Just look at them!"  Aiichirou watched Haru and Rin get out on the other side of the pool, his brother yelling in victory while Haruka looked on impassively.  Rin _did_ follow Haru around like a puppy and was always smiling at him and trying to get Haru to laugh.

"Maybe.  But who cares?"

Nagisa poked him in the cheek.  God, he really wished Nagisa would back off.

"Well... What if I said I know someone who has a crush on you?"

Aiichirou stopped his efforts to get away from Nagisa's vice grip and looked at the blond boy.

"W-what?  Someone has a crush on me?"

Nagisa nodded his head.  "It's a _boy_ too.  An _older_ boy."

He narrowed his eyes at Nagisa.  "That's not funny!  You shouldn't lie to people, you know."

"I'm not lying!  It's true!"  Nagisa laughed.  He _laughed_.  The nerve of him.

"Then who is it?"

Nagisa's face broke out into the biggest shit eating grin Aiichirou had ever seen.  "I'm not telling!"

"What?  Why not?!"

"Because," Nagisa let go of Aiichirou and skipped off to the locker rooms shouting over his shoulder, "What fun is that?"

Aiichirou was left standing there with his own thoughts.  He was so confused!  Was Nagisa telling the truth?  Was he just teasing him?  Did an older boy really have a crush on him?  He balled his hands into fists and looked down at the ground.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

Aiichirou snapped his head up to see Sousuke standing there, watching him with disinterest and rubbing his own shoulder.  Sousuke was over their house a lot, being Rin's best friend and all, but he always intimidated Aiichirou, even though he was never mean to him.  He actually was _nice_ to him, something Aiichirou didn't see Sousuke be to anyone else besides Rin.  Usually the boy was quiet, keeping his soft side just out of view from others.  He supposes he could count Sousuke as a friend, but he was still a little scary in Aiichirou's honest opinion.  Sousuke was only 14 but he had a body of Roman god, and Aiichiriou didn't know how to deal with that.

"Oh!  Um, nothing.  I'm going to get changed now."

Aiichirou tried to walk as steady and calmly as he could, but he couldn't help his rigid posture and his angry stomps.  Sousuke watched Aiichirou leave, masking his emotions and focusing on his shoulder instead.

\--

That night Aiichirou found himself still aggravated.  He laid with his back to his brother and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to quiet the thoughts buzzing around in his head.

"Hey, Ai."

He ignored Rin and curled his knees higher to his chest.

"Ai, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!"  He tucked his head down and pulled the covers over himself.

"Ai, something's obviously bothering you."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

Aiichirou yanked the covers down and turned to his brother.  "Nagisa said an older boy has a crush on me but wouldn't tell me who."

"That's all?"

Aiichirou huffed.  "What do you mean _that's all?_   I want to know who it is!  If he's even telling the truth."

"How much older are we talking about?"

"Like I know!"   Aiichirou turned on his side again, jerking the covers over his head.

"Nagisa just likes to cause drama.  I wouldn't worry about it."

Aiichirou's voice was muffled.  "Easy for you to say.  You're the one _with_ a crush, not being _crushed on_."

"What?"  Rin sat up and tried uncover Aiichirou, who clutched onto the blanket with white knuckles.

"You like Haruka!"

Rin spluttered indignantly, and then leaned back against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest.  "How do _you_ know?!"

His little brother peeked out from other the covers and narrowed his eyes. " _Nagisa._ "

\--

The next morning Rin waited with Aiichirou by his locker.

"Aw, so what?  So someone has a crush on you, big deal, right?"

"No!"  His brother slammed his locker shut and hugged his textbook to his chest.  "I want to know who it is."

"Well... Maybe we could find out!"

Immediately, Aiichirou's face lit up.  "Really?  How?"

Rin smirked.  "Leave it to me.  I can get any gossip I want."

Aiichirou nodded his head.  "Okay.  Deal."

"We didn't make a deal, Ai."

The two brothers started walking to class.

"Whatever, Rin.  Just find out."

\--

That night in the shower, Rin got the cold shoulder.

"You said you would find out!"

"Ai, no one really knew anything!  Whoever it is must not talk about it with anyone!"

"Or they don't exist!"

Rin crossed his arms and scowled.  "You're being such a baby.  You're 12 years old, stop acting like a friggen two year old."

Aiichirou turned around with tears in his eyes.  "You're being so mean!  I knew Nagisa was lying!  Why would anyone ever like me?"

"What?  Hey, Ai, what do you mean?"

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his face, mixing with the shower spray.  "I'm just a puny no one!  I'm not good at anything and I can't talk to new people!  Why would I even kid myself with believing anyone could have a crush on me?  There's nothing to like about me!"

"Ai."  Rin placed his hands on his brother's shoulders.  "That's not true.  You're a sweet, determined person who lights up the room with their presence.  As far as I can tell, everyone likes you.  Even Sousuke, and he's a big grump.  So don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Aiichirou's shoulders shook as he hiccupped and sniffled.  Rin brushed the wet bangs off Aiichirou's forehead.

"Okay, Ai?"

Aiichirou looked up at his brother and tried to smile.  "Thank you, Rin."

"Whoever has a crush on you has good tastes."

Aiichirou blushed and did smile then, hitting his older brother on the shoulder.  "Rin!"

"What?  Just stating the truth!"

Aiichirou looked down at the floor and smiled.  "Prove it to me?"

Rin grinned.  "Actually, I want to try something out.  I heard someone talking about a video they watched online."

Rin got on his knees and looked up at Aiichirou, who tilted his head with an eyebrow quirked.

"What kind of video?"

"Porn."  Rin pulled Aiichirou closer to him by the hips so his face was level with his brother's groin.  Aiichirou was already partially erect at his brother's attention and Rin wrapped his hand around him, leaning forward so his face was closer to Aiichirou's penis.  He looked up.  "I'm not sure how to actually do this, but it didn't sound that hard."

"Rin?  What are you going to do?"

"You'll see!  And I think you'll like it."

Aiichirou didn't say another word as he watched his brother press his lips to the tip of his penis and then open his mouth.

"...Rin?"

His brother pulled back and looked up at him.  "What?"

"What... What are you doing?"

"It's called a blowjob."

"You... put your mouth there?  Are you sure people do that?"

"Yeah, that's what a blowjob is.  I looked it up."

"I don't get it.  How does it work?"

Rin rolled his eyes.  "Well, I was _showing_ you, before you _rudely_ interrupted."

Aiichirou snickered at his brother's snark.  "Okay, okay, sorry.  You can show me, I won't talk anymore!"

Rin gave him a few strokes before taking his brother into his mouth again.  He pressed his tongue flat underneath and made sure to be extra careful not to scrape with his teeth as he slid his mouth further down.  Rin didn't know if he was doing it right, Aiichirou's penis felt bigger than it looked when he tried fitting in his mouth (seriously, how was he supposed to fit this thing in his mouth?), but when he started to move his head slowly, his brother gasped out above him and smacked his hand against the wall.  The slap cracked through the sound of the water hitting the shower floor and Rin pulled off.

"Ai, be _quiet_.  Mom's home."

His brother harshly whispered back.  "I'm trying to be but you're doing... you're giving me a blowjob!"

"Does it feel _that_ good?"

" _Yes_."

"Awesome."  And without warning, Rin got back to work until sharp tugs in his hair made him look up.

"Rin, I'm going to... I'm..."

Rin stood up and held Aiichirou close to him, kissing him as he stroked his brother to completion.

"How was that?"

Aiichirou looked at him with a dopey expression, barely able to keep himself standing.  "I didn't know people could do that!  That's so weird!"

"You think everything is weird."

"Well, it was!"

"But you liked it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then, who cares if it's weird?"

"I guess I don't."

"Me neither."

With a final kiss pressed quickly to Aiichirou's lips, Rin turned his brother around and started to wash his hair.

"Do you feel better now?"

Aiichirou nodded.  He wasn't in a bad mood anymore.  Any negative thoughts he had were washed down the drain along with the soapsuds and his release.

\--

Rin and Sousuke had a joint graduation party.  The two were heading on up to high school next Fall and decided it would be easier and _way_ more fun to combine their celebration.

"Not fair!  I want Ai to be on my team!  He's _my_ brother, after all."

Sousuke ignored Rin's whining and kept his finger pointed at Aiichirou.  "Too bad.  You should have picked him first."

Rin had picked Haruka first, naturally.  The two were choosing teams for a water gun fight.  It was almost a tradition in the Nitori household to have a water gun fight at every summer gathering.

"But this is my house and my party!"

Sousuke didn't react, choosing not to comment that it was his party too, and continued to focus his attention at the boy in question.  "Ai, I choose you to be on my team."

"No, Ai, don't listen to him!  You're on my team!"

Aiichirou looked back and forth between the two before stepping towards Sousuke.  "Sorry, Rin!  But rules are rules!  And it was Sousuke's turn to chose a team mate."

Rin let his mouth drop open in disbelief before schooling himself.  "Fine!  You are _so_ gonna pay for this!"  Rin grinned sharply and winked at Aiichirou, and then pointed at Nagisa.  "Nagisa!  You're on my team!"

Aiichirou stepped behind Sousuke, hiding from his brother.  Sousuke watched Aiichirou out of the corner of his eye.

"Sousuke!  Your turn!"  Rin's voice cut through the air.

"Makoto."

Much to Haruka's dismay, Makoto walked over to Sousuke's team.  The tall 15 year old smiled down at Aiichirou.

"I don't think we know each other too well, but I'm Makoto!  You look kind of nervous, but don't worry, we'll work together, okay?"

Aiichirou nodded his head, feeling like a dumb 12 year old, but at the same time loved the doting, almost mother like, attention.

"Rei!"

Rei jogged over to Rin's team and gave Rin a high five.

"Momo."

Momo whooped, unfazed at being chosen last, and sprinted to Sousuke's team.  "We're on the same team, Ai!"

Aiichirou unintentionally shifted closer to Sousuke, grabbing at his shirt.  "That's great, Momo..."

When he realize what he was doing, he yelped and let go of Sousuke's shirt and jumped back, completely red in the face.  Sousuke just smiled to himself, but Aiichirou was too busy staring at the ground to notice.

"Okay."  Sousuke's voice got everyone's attention.  "Here's the plan."

\--

Soon all eight of them were running from hiding spot to hiding spot, dodging streams of water and returning fire with shots of their own.

Aiichirou was making a run for it, his cover having been blown, Rin hot on his heels, pumping his water gun.

"I'm going to get you, _you traitor of a_ _little brother!_ "

Just as Aiichirou swore he was done for, he was yanked to the side behind a bush.  Sousuke pulled him to his chest and spoke lowly in his ear.

"On the count of three, we're going to run this way.  One..."

"But I can't run fast!"

Sousuke peered through the bushes at Rin running towards their hiding spot.  "I'll shield you with my body.  Two..."

"Wait, but--"

"Three."

Aiichirou was pulled to his feet and he stumbled as Sousuke pushed him forward.

"Go!  I'll try to slow him down!"

He ran as fast and as hard as his little body would let him until he found shelter behind an overturned patio table.  He took out his inhaler and took a puff, inwardly cursing his asthma.  He peeked around the edge of the table and saw Nagisa and Momo shooting at each other, using paper plates as makeshift shields.  Aiichirou jumped when Sousuke appeared next to him.

"Did you get Rin?"

"No, he got away.  But I didn't get hit either."

Sousuke surveyed the area around them before ducking back down and raking his eyes over Aiichirou.  "Are you okay?  Do you have your inhaler?"

Aiichirou nodded his head.  Sousuke studied him for a few seconds before checking their surroundings again.

"Sousuke?"

" _Shhh_."

"Sorry," Aiichirou whispered, "Sousuke?"

"What?"

"You're um.  You're kneeling on my hand."

Sousuke looked down surprised and lifted his knee.  He took Aiichirou's hand and rubbed it between his own.  "Did I hurt you?"  Aiichirou shook his head.

"Wiggle your fingers."  Aiichirou did as he was told.

"Did it hurt to do that?"

"No."

Sousuke held onto his hand and rubbed it gently.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

Aiichirou couldn't bring himself to look up at Sousuke and instead stared at his hand in Sousuke's larger ones.  He could feel his face heating up and he was sure he was blushing, but soon he was soaked and Nagisa was screaming out in glee, running off to find cover from Makoto who was chasing him around the side of the house.

"I got two of them!  I got Sou and Ai Ai!"

Both Sousuke and Aiichirou _tisked_ at Nagisa's nicknames and then looked at each other and burst out laughing.  Well, Aiichirou laughed, Sousuke just smiled.

Rin came running over yelling out his _I told you so's_ and the like but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sousuke and his little brother holding hands.

"What's going on here?"

There was a small smirk on his face as his gaze darted between their faces, to their hands, and back up to their faces.  Aiichirou looked confused but then realized his hand was still in Sousuke's and he pulled away, holding his hand to his chest.  Rin took a few steps closer.

"This whole time, it was my best friend who had a crush on my little brother."

Aiichirou squeaked.  "No, Rin!  That's not it!  He had just kneeled on my hand and he was making sure it wasn't hurt, then Nagisa shot us!"

Rin crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his hip.  "Sousuke.  Care to explain?"

"Rin, I promise, it's not like that, Sousuke was just making sure I was okay, I--"

Sousuke's hand on his shoulder quieted the boy.  He looked up at Rin.  "There's nothing to explain.   You figured it out."

Rin raised his eyebrows.  "Really?  You actually like my little brother?"

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck.  "I'm not gonna lie about it."

Aiichirou stared at the two best friends, completely dumbstruck.  He felt himself grow extremely self conscious and wanted to hide, but couldn't bring himself to move.  A splash of water doused the side of Rin's head, followed by Momo and Makoto's cheering.  Rin blinked a few times before throwing his fist up and yelling.

"I'll get you two!  I've still got three team mates in the game!  You're down two!  You don't stand a chance!"

He looked down at Sousuke.  "Well, I mean, it's kind of weird, but I suppose I don't mind.  It's not up to me, anyway.  Ai, you found out who your secret admirer was after all.  Be safe now, you two, don't go and do something your mothers would be ashamed of!"

And with that, Rin ran off laughing.

"R-Rin!"  Aiichirou turned back to Sousuke.  "You like me?"

Sousuke nodded.

"Really?"

"I said I did like, three times."

"...Why?"

Sousuke shrugged.  "Cause I do."

"You don't think I'm too young?"

"Not really.  You're only two years younger."

"But you're almost in high school.  I haven't even started to grow hair down there, yet."

Sousuke turned bright red and looked away.  "What the hell, Ai?"

"What?"

"You don't just... say things like that!"

"Oh."

Sousuke looked over at Aiichirou, who looked genuinely confused.  "You... do know that, right?"

"Know what?"

"That you can't just say personal stuff like that!"

"But Rin doesn't care when I tell him this kind of stuff!"

"Rin's your brother.  And he should care!"

"Why?"

Sousuke huffed, getting annoyed.  "Because you don't just talk about that kind of stuff with people.  It's private."

"Oh."  For the first time, Aiichirou had doubts about everything he had ever known.  He always talked to Rin about stuff like this, about growing hair in private places, about getting erections, about kissing.  Was it wrong?  It didn't feel wrong when he did it.  It always felt good.  Especially when they touched each other.

"So."

Aiichirou looked up at Sousuke.  "So?"

"So... do you like me back?"

Aiichirou didn't know what to say.  He couldn't believe that Nagisa had told the truth.  He had never considered Sousuke to be the type to be interested in someone like him. Sousuke was so intimidating and Aiichirou was so... _not_.  But what did he have to lose?

"I'm... I'm not sure.  But we should try it out, right?"

"Wait, really?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You don't care that I'm a boy?"

"Not really."

"So... you're saying you'll give me a chance?"

Aiichirou nodded his head.  "As long as you don't mind dating a middle schooler."

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck.  "Well... I think it _is_ kind of inappropriate to... date you right now.  But maybe we could hang out a bit more?"

Why would it be _inappropriate_?  Sousuke was Rin's age and he and Rin were intimate all the time.  But if that's how Sousuke felt, Aiichirou could respect that, even if he didn't understand it.  Besides, knowing someone wanted to hang out with him, that someone _liked_ him, made him feel warm all over.  It made him feel special and wanted.

"Okay, I'd like that!"

\--

That following summer Rin, Aiichirou, and Sousuke hung out almost every day.  They'd play outside in the creek by day, and have sleepovers in blanket forts by night.  Aiichirou really took to Sousuke, following him around like a baby duck, absolutely beaming when Sousuke smiled at him or praised him.  He figured maybe he could like Sousuke back.  He figured maybe he _did_ like Sousuke back.  But every time he went to touch Sousuke, even just to hold his hand, Sousuke pulled away.  He kept telling Aiichirou that he was still too young and not ready for _that_ kind of stuff yet.  Aiichirou didn't know you had a to be above a certain age to hold hands with someone, especially with someone you liked.

"You know, he acts like he's so much older than me!  He says he likes me but then he keeps treating me like a baby, like he's waiting for the right age before he can act like my boyfriend.  It's weird!"

Aiichirou threw his clothes angrily into his duffel bag.  He was packing for a three week summer camp his mother convinced him to go to.

"I think he just feels weird now that he's going into high school and you're still in middle school.  It makes sense."

"But then why does he like me?  Why even bother!"

Rin rolled over from where he laid on his bed and watched his brother stomp around the room while he packed.

"Ai, calm down."

"No!"

"Ai, really?"

Aiichirou crossed his arms and pouted.

"Maybe this is why he won't go out with you.  Cause you still act like a baby and he's waiting for you to grow up."

As soon as he said it, Rin regretted it.  Aiichirou's eyes watered and his lip quivered.

"Hey, Ai, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it."

Aiichirou fell to his knees and hung his head, sniffling.  Rin saw tears fall onto the carpet.

"Then... Then why bother liking someone if you still think they're a baby?"

Rin rolled off the bed and crawled over to his brother, pulling him into a hug.  "I didn't mean that, Ai.  That's probably not even close to how Sousuke feels.  I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"No, it's true!  Why won't he let me hold his hand?  Why won't he let me kiss him?  I really want to kiss him!"

Rin rubbed circles into Aiichirou's back.  "I don't know, Ai."  He felt useless not being able to comfort his brother, but he honestly had no answers.  "Hey, how about you finish packing, and then maybe mom can take us out to ice cream on the way to the camp?"

"But I don't want to go anymore."

"Why not?  You seemed excited for it earlier."

Aiichirou wiped his eyes with the hem of his t-shirt.  "But now I'm nervous and I won't make any friends and you won't be there!"

"Well..."  Rin looked around the room and his eyes settled on the baseball cap he wore almost religiously.  "Here, take this with you."  He reached over and grabbed the hat, plopping it on Aiichirou's head.  "Perfect fit!"

Aiichriou took the hat off and looked at it, running his finger along the fraying edge of the rim.  "But you wear this all the time!"

Rin ruffled his brother's hair.  "But you can wear it while you're away, so you know I'm right here waiting for you to come back."

"Rin!"  Aiichirou threw his arms around his brother and pressed his lips to Rin's.  Rin smiled and parted his lips, deepening their kiss.

Aiichriou was red when they pulled apart.  "Thank you, Rin."  He gave his brother one last squeeze before standing up to resume packing.

\--

"How was cam--"

Rin didn't get to finish his question before he was barreled into and knocked to the ground.

"Rin!  I missed you so much!"

Their mother laughed at the enthusiastic greeting.  "Come on, boys.  Dinner's waiting at home and I'm sure your father will be happy to see you, Aiichirou."

Aiichirou scrambled up and gave Rin a hand, and as soon as the two were on their feet they took off, racing to the car.

"Aiichirou!  Slow down!  Rin, stop encouraging him!"  Their mother's cries were in vain as the two boys sped off, lost in their own world.

"I won!"  Rin punched the air.  Aiichirou bent over panting, resting his hands on his knees.

"You always win, Rin."

"I know."  Rin wore a toothy smile and flicked his cap off Aiichirou's head and placed it on his own.  "I'll take this back now, thank you very much."

Their mother walked up to the car, unlocking and opening the trunk, placing Aiichirou's bag inside.  "Do you need your inhaler, Aiichirou?"

Aiichriou shook his head.  "I'm fine.  I just need a minute to catch my breath."

"Then how about some water?"  His mother was shoving a water bottle into his hands before he could answer.

"Thanks, mom."

Rin skipped around the car and took his place in the passenger's seat, while Aiichirou scooted into the back.

"So, Ai.  Tell me.  Did you spy on any girls changing?  Did you see their boobs-- ow!"

His mother smacked him on the back of the head.  "Don't talk like that, Rin.  And Aiichirou, you better not have spied on any girls."

"I wouldn't do that!"

"So what did you do this whole time, then?"  Rin turned around and stared at his brother.  Aiichirou missed Rin so much.  He admired the way his bright eyes sparkled, how his long hair framed his narrow face, his sharp nose.  Everything about Rin was beautiful.  Being away from him for three weeks just made his beauty that much more apparent when he returned.

"Ai?"

"Huh?"

"I asked what you did for three weeks!"

"Oh.  Well, there was a lake..."

\--

"Rin! I missed you so much!  I missed..."

Aiichirou laid underneath his brother, naked and panting.  He was thrusting his hips up into Rin's hand in time with Rin's stroking.

"God, Ai, _look_ at you!"

"Shut up!  It's been so long!"

Rin muffled his laugh against Aiichirou's neck.  "What, you're telling me you didn't jerk it while you were there?"

"I... I did.  But it wasn't the same.  I like it better when you play with me."

"Yeah," Rin pressed a kiss to the corner of his brother's mouth, "I guess I like it better with you, too."

\--

"How come you won't hold my brother's hand?"

Rin was at Sousuke's house, laying next to his friend on the bedroom floor and avoiding his homework.

"He's still kind of young."

"Not really."

Sousuke sighed.  "He's still in seventh grade.  We're in ninth grade."

Rin flicked a piece of crumpled paper at him.  "Thank you, Mister Obvious.  What I'm trying to say is, my brother is going crazy talking about how you don't even act like you like him and stuff.  He's got a point.  Why confess you like someone if you don't wanna go out with them?  _How_ do you like someone without wanting to go out with them?"

Sousuke was quiet for some time before he spoke.  "I... I don't really know," Rin interrupted him with a snort, "Rin, no, listen.  It's really hard to explain how I feel about Ai.  When I see him I feel really happy, like no matter how bad a mood I've been in, he always manages to cheer me up.  Ever since we were in elementary school I've felt like this.  It's like I'm addicted to being around him."

"...Okay so, there's a really, _really_ easy solution to your dilemma."

"Yeah, yeah, I _know_ but the problem is when I look at him I still see a child, like a _child_ child.  And I don't feel like a child anymore.  I can't get past that."

Rin rolled over on his stomach, his hair falling into his face.  "Jeeze, you're making it sound like you're 50 years old or something.  We're only two years older than him, Sou."

Sousuke looked away, his silent anger and frustration heavy in the space between them.  Rin rested his chin on the floor and reached out to poke Sousuke's arm.

"You know, even if it's in secret, you can hold his hand.  Or even more.  He really wants to kiss you."

Sousuke turned bright red at Rin's words.  "Rin."

"I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about.  He's a big boy, Sou.  He can handle this stuff."

Finally Sousuke turned his head to meet Rin's eyes.  "I don't think he's ready.  He already told me, flat out told me he hasn't _grown hair down there_.  That's what he said, Rin.  He just shared that he hasn't started puberty with me as casually as if he were talking about the weather.  I don't think he's mature enough yet."

Rin snorted.  "He just doesn't have a filter or any sense of what's acceptable to share and what's supposed to be kept private.  He tells me shit like that all the time."

"And you don't correct him?"

"Nah, I don't care."

"Rin, you really can't be like that with him."

Rin propped himself up on his elbows, frowning.  "What do you mean _like_ _that_?"

"Like... like so chill.  He doesn't pick up on what is and isn't appropriate, and he practically worships you, so when you aren't straight forward with him, he assumes what he's saying is okay."

"Hey, it's not all my fault he says stupid shit sometimes!"

"But if no one points out he's saying stupid shit he'll never learn."

"Whatever, Sousuke.  It's not even a big deal.  Just fucking hold his hand or something so he shuts the hell up about it."  Rin let himself fall back to the floor with a flop, burying his face in the carpet.

"Rin."

" _What_."

"I'm being serious.  I'm not making a move on your brother until he's ready."

Rin's voice was tired and muffled through the carpet.  "Trust me, Sou.  He's ready."

"You don't know that."

Rin didn't answer.

* * *

 

\--15,13--

"Rin!  Rin, look!"  Aiichirou came running in their bedroom wearing only his boxers.  "Look!"  He raised his arms.  "Hair is growing!"

"Nice, Ai.  Took you long enough."

They heard their mother climbing the steps to their room and the woman in question appeared in the doorway, leaning her hip on the doorframe.

"Aiichirou, I think this means you should get your own bedroom."

"What?"

"Honey, it was one thing when Rin started growing up, but now that the both of you are going through changes, it's important that you have your privacy."

Their mother wasn't stupid.  She washed their boxers, after all.  She knew that they needed their own space, it wasn't healthy to allow them to stay together during these points in their lives.  Rin perked up, lifting his head from the magazine he was reading.  He flicked his eyes between his mother and Aiichirou.

"But I don't want my own room... I wanna stay in here with Rin!"

Their mother sighed, tired of this battle.  "Listen.  I don't want to hear it anymore.  There is no excuse.  We have a spare room that has been collecting junk when it should have been your bedroom.  It's going to be yours from now on and there is not to be another word said about this.  Understand?"

The stare off between Aiichirou and his mother lasted a good five seconds before Aiichirou looked down in defeat.

"Aiichirou, you are too old to be getting this upset over having your own room.  13 years old is a tough age.  You need alone time, time by yourself to figure stuff out, okay?  You can't always be depending on Rin, he's not going to be by your side all the time forever."

Rin watched as his brother rubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away before they fell.  Their mother looked on with a neutral face.

"Hey, Ai," Rin slid off the bed and padded over to his brother, "Having our own rooms won't be so bad.  We're right next to each other and we can put our beds against the shared wall, okay?"

Aiichirou shook his head and hid his face in Rin's chest, hiccupping.

"Rin, come help with dinner.  Aiichirou will be fine, he doesn't need to be babied."

Little fists gripped to Rin's shirt.  "Please don't go."

Rin looked down and frowned, not sure what to do.  He placed his hands over Aiichirou's and kissed his brother's forehead.  "I have to go help mom.  You can read my magazine if you want.  But you have to let go."

With the most pathetic sniffle Aiichirou could muster up, he let his hands fall to his side and stared at the floor sulking as his older brother followed their mother downstairs to the kitchen.

\--

"Rin, I know you and Aiichirou are close, and that's great, but he is overly attached to you.  It's not healthy for either of you."

Rin shrugged as he cut up a stalk of celery.  "I don't really mind, mom."

"I know you might not at the moment, but I'm telling you, the longer this goes on, the worse it will get.  It's not good for him.  He won't be able to develop the social skills that he'll need when he's older.  And I promise you, in a few years you _will_ get tired of it."

"No I won't!"

"Rin, you're maturing faster than he is.  He's not at the maturity level he should be for a 13 year old.  That's going to catch up to you when you start transitioning into adulthood and he's still acting like a 10 year old, wanting to sleep in the same bed as you."

Silence stretched between them, the only sound being the crisp snap of the celery and the thud of the knife against the cutting board.

"Well... What do you want me to do about it?  I can't push him away, it's _Ai_."

His mother sighed.  "I know, Rin, and I don't want you to push him away.  I'm just telling you that you both need to work on having time apart.  Perhaps you should start treating him like more of an independent teenager.  He needs to start moving on from his dependency on you.  I'm going to talk to him about it, too.  I'll even bring you two to counseling if you need.  I just want you two to be happy in the long run."

Rin couldn't explain it, but the thought of going to counseling for something he didn't see as a problem made him feel angry, but a different kind of anger than what he was used to.  It wasn't his quick temper lit like a fuse nor was it the white hot blinding anger, that made him seethe and storm off in a rage.  It felt like a bubble lodged itself in his chest and pressed hard enough on his heart to remind him that it was there, but not hard enough to have any short term effect.  It was a heavy anger, making his stomach turn and his eyes water.  It was an anger that Rin, for once, didn't know how to express.  He felt overstuffed, too tiny to hold the amount of emotions swirling inside of him, and tears fell from his eyes before he could stop them.

"Rin?"  His mother turned from the stove and spotted her son crying, "Rin, oh, honey, don't cry!"  She pulled him to her chest and soothed down his hair.  "Hey, shhh, I'm not mad at you and Aiichirou, I know you want to take care of him.  And for a 15 year old you are _so_ responsible, Rin, you are so good with him."  She crouched down so she was looking up at her son.  "You understand that I'm not mad at you, I'm very proud of you, right?"

Rin shamelessly blubbered and cried, sucking air in between outbursts, but pushed weakly against her shoulders.  "I'm not crying, mom..."  First Sousuke, and now his mother.  What did they see wrong with his little brother?  Why did no one want him to act like the older brother he was supposed to be?  How could he refuse his brother?  He couldn't.  He didn't want to.

"Oh, Rin.  I'm just worried about you two.  I'm trying to help."

His mother stood back up and pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back as he cried.  She stared at the floor from over his shoulder and wondered how she was supposed to deal with this.

\--

Aiichirou flopped down on his bed, not caring when his backpack slid off the side and spilled all its contents onto the floor.

"Ai!"  Rin stormed in his room, slamming his door open.  "Your room is a fuckin' mess!  Clean it up!"

"No time, I'm going to the movies with Sousuke."  His voice was muffled against his pillow.

Rin pounced on top of his brother, pulling the pillow out from under his head and whacking him with it.  "Is he finally taking you on a date?"

"Rin, get off!"  Aiichirou whined, "It's too hot!"

The end of the school year was approaching, and with it came hot, humid weather.  Sweat plastered Aiichirou's bangs to his forehead.

"I need to go take a shower."  Aiichirou managed to half push Rin off of him, and slid onto the floor.  "You can organize stuff while I'm in there if you want."

Rin got to work, organizing things into piles.  "Ai, I'm borrowing these."  He held up a few porno magazines.

"Just give them back when you're done.  I like those ones."

Rin flipped through a few pages and whistled low.  "Damn.  We gotta try that."  He turned the magazine around to show his brother a picture of a man sliding his cock between another man's asscheeks.  Come was splattered on the man's back.

Aiichirou glanced over and then got back to searching through his mess for clean clothes.  "I want you to be on top when we do it"

Rin got back to organizing piles.  "We can take turns."

"Fine."

\--

Aiichirou and Sousuke walked along leisurely, both content to take their time and enjoy each other's presence.  The movie they saw was some action film with car chases and gunfire, naked girls and rich men in sunglasses.  He didn't care about the plot of the movie, in fact, he thought the movie _majorly_ sucked, but he couldn't ignore the adrenaline racing through his veins from the overuse of explosions and testosterone.  Aiichirou's heart skipped a beat when Sousuke timidly took his hand.

"Sou?"

Sousuke looked down at Aiichirou and smiled.  "Hey."

"You're holding my hand?"  After a year of distance and rejection, Aiichirou was sure he was imagining things.

"I am."

"So... I'm not dreaming?"

Sousuke laughed through his nose.  "No, you're awake."

Aiichirou smiled and then covered his mouth with his free hand.  He couldn't believe it!  Sousuke was holding his hand!  A skip snuck its way into his step and he swung their laced fingers for the rest of their walk home.

\--

"He held my hand!  Rin!  Sousuke held my hand!"  Aiichirou clutched a stuffed animal to his chest and he buried his burning face into its fur.  "The whole way home he held my hand!"

"Fucking finally."  Rin was finishing the final touches on organizing Aiichirou's room and sat pretzel style on the floor with his back to his brother.

"Maybe he'll kiss me next time.  Oh god, Rin, what if he kisses me?!"

"Then you kiss him back.  Just like we practiced."

Aiichirou traced invisible hearts onto his bedspread.  "I wonder what it will feel like to kiss him..."

\--

Kissing Sousuke, Aiichirou discovered, made him feel warm all over, rendered him giddy and light headed.  Sousuke was gentle, licking Aiichirou's lips and then slipping his tongue inside when Aiichirou parted them in a small gasp.  It was like kissing Rin but at the same time it wasn't.  It felt the same, only slower and more tender, and the way Sousuke gingerly cupped his cheek tricked Aiichirou into believing that this was his first kiss.  Kissing Sousuke was more than he dreamt it would be.

They pulled apart breathless and awestruck, staring into each other's eyes.

"Sousuke."

Sousuke relaxed, smiling and bumping their foreheads together.  Aiichirou's heart was caught in his throat when their noses bumped and their lips brushed.

"I've waited so long to do that."

Sousuke's breath tickled his lips, and it was almost reflex to open his mouth and clutch onto Sousuke's shoulders, a silent plea for more.

"You could have done it all along."

Aiichirou felt like he was in a romance movie reading off a clichéd script.  But he loved it, it was perfect.  It was how every first kiss was supposed to go, it was how every pair of lovers were supposed to get together after a year of waiting.

"No, it wouldn't have been the same.  You've grown."

And now it felt like Aiichirou was in a yaoi scene with Sousuke's blunt, awkward phrasing, and he had to suppress a giggle at the thought.  Here Sousuke was, the big, strong older boy sweeping the little baby off his feet.  A snicker crawled its way up his throat and he threw his head back to laugh, unable to keep it in.  Sousuke watched him, his expression part puzzled and part amused.

"What's so funny?"

After schooling himself and herding in his stray giggles, Aiichirou buried his face in Sousuke's neck.  "It just sounded so dramatic is all. "

A warm hand pet the back of his neck and Sousuke hummed, the sound vibrating through his throat.  Aiichirou didn't think twice when he swiped his tongue over the skin, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Sousuke's neck.

"Ai?"

He could feel Sousuke's voice vibrate under his lips and he moaned, pulling himself closer and opened his mouth farther, sucking at his throat, intoxicated by the taste.  Sousuke tasted like his scent; an earthy musk with a layer of fresh summer rain.  Aiichirou licked at Sousuke's neck, the spot turning a deep red from the attention.

"Ai..."

"S-sorry, I um, wasn't thinking."

"It's... It's okay.  It felt good."

Heat washed over Aiichirou's face and he buried it in Sousuke's chest, _Sousuke's large, firm chest_.  Unaware that Sousuke was in the same predicament, bright red and all sorts of embarrassed, Aiichirou squeezed his eyes shut and nuzzled into the soft cotton t-shirt.

"Ai, you're doing that on purpose."

Aiichirou pulled away and looked up at Sousuke, tilting his head.  "Doing what?"

Sousuke raised an eyebrow.  " _This_."

"What?"

Sousuke's mouth twitched downwards at the corners.  "You... you really don't know?"

Aiichirou studied Sousuke's face and then a light bulb flicked on.

"Am I making you hard?"

Despite not expecting anything less blunt from the boy's mouth, Sousuke still raised both eyebrows.  "Ai, don't say stuff like that."

"What?  Why?  I am, aren't I?"

He didn't say it in a ploy to be seductive, he wasn't even playing coy.  Sousuke sighed and figured that this is just how Aiichirou was, matter of fact and unaware of implications.

"Let's go for a walk, yeah?  Cool off a bit."

"But I want to see!"

"Ai!  Not now."

"Later?"

Sousuke sighed, _again_.  "Ai, cool off for a bit.  No need to rush things."

Aiichirou pouted.  "But I want to see.  I know how to make you come!"

" _Ai._ "

" _Sousuke!_ "

"Listen, I want that part of our relationship to be special, okay?"

Special?  Why would playing around now not make it special?  Aiichirou was plenty practiced, and he was no child, he knew what he wanted and what he liked to do.  But there was no point in arguing with Sousuke, who seemed set on the idea of cooling off.  And maybe Sousuke would do something different than Rin.  Maybe it _would_ be special.  Kissing Sousuke for the first time was definitely special, a memory Aiichirou would hold onto for as long as he lived.

"Okay."

Sousuke cupped Aiichirou's round face in his hands, squishing his cheeks.  "Okay?"

He nodded his head as best as he could in Sousuke's grip.  Sousuke smiled and leaned down to peck him on the lips.

"Thank you, Ai."

\--

"So, finally gave in and sucked face with my brother?"  Rin poked the hickey on Sousuke's neck.

"Why do you act so chill about your brother's personal life... don't siblings like, not want to hear that kind of stuff about each other?"

Rin shrugged.  "Me and Ai are close."

"Yeah, but doesn't it squick you out?  Thinking of Ai doing... you know, stuff."

"Nah."

Sousuke shot his best friend a look.  "You're strange."

"Think whatever you want, Sou.  I'm not gonna stoop low enough to be immature about _natural_ things."

"Whatever.  But don't expect me to give you details.  That's where I draw the line."

Rin snickered.  "I'll allow you your privacy."  Aiichirou would tell him instead.

"You better, or else I'd be legit concerned."

Rin felt his smile twitch.  "Yeah.  Dude, don't worry about it.  I'm not like _that_ , jeeze."

\--

"Rin!  Faster!"

Rin knelt in the shower with Aiichirou's hands tangled in his wet hair, stroking his brother.  "Shut up, don't be so loud!"

"No one's home!"

Rin grunted in annoyance and picked up his pace, eager to get his brother off.

"Rin... I'm gonna come!"

And that was his cue.  Rin opened his mouth and waited, stroking faster until his brother was coming, painting ribbons along his tongue and chin.

" _Rin_."  Aiichirou pulled his brother up by his hair and kissed him sloppily, chasing his own semen down his brother's chin as it washed away under the shower spray.  Amber eyes met blue, and for the first time, their expressions didn't match.  Aiichirou's eyes were shiny and wide with lust, and Rin looked away, Sousuke's words ringing in his head.

"Turn around."

His brother obeyed, leaning up against the shower wall and pushed his ass out expectantly.  Rin swallowed, as he watched the water run down his brother's back and over his curves.  That heaviness in his chest came back, suffocating him, squeezing his throat.  Rin was starting to realize just how wrong his actions were, and despite his feelings turning a disgusting shade of muddy brown in his head, he didn't want to stop.  He blinked hot, angry tears away, grateful that the shower covered them up.

"Rin!  Hurry up!"

Aiichirou shook his ass impatiently and Rin draped himself along his brother's back, pushing him against the shower wall.  He blocked out the nagging doubt in his head, ignoring the sharp stabs to his conscience, and humped his brother, using him to get off, just like he's always done.  When he came, he reassured himself that it was okay.  It was easy to believe the lie when pleasure wracked his body.

* * *

 

\--16,14--

The summer air was warm but crisp, the humidity having died down once the sun set.  The boys sat around the campfire in Rin and Aiichirou's back yard, talking and laughing in the orange glow.

"Here."

Sousuke handed Aiichirou a smore he had made, the marshmallow still hot and dripping.  He took a bite and hummed appreciatively, smearing chocolate and marshmallow on his face.  Sousuke leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth, licking away some of the sticky mess.

"Get a room, you two!"  Momo yelled louder than he needed, causing everyone's attention to be on the pair.

" _Sou Sou and Ai Ai sittin' in a tree!_ "

Rei put a quick end to Nagisa's childish teasing, his marshmallow falling off its stick into the fire in the process, which resulted in the blond slapping his knee in laugher.

"S-shut up!"  Aiichirou ducked his head, averting his eyes.  Sousuke rubbed his back, an attempt to soothe him, and Aiichirou leaned into him and went back to eating his smore with a small smile.

\--

After everyone went home, Aiichirou and Sousuke laid together on Aiichirou's bed, sprawled out as much as they could in the tiny twin-sized mattress, which wasn't much.  Aiichirou was squished between the wall and Sousuke's side.  The ceiling fan offered a small relief from the heat, but that didn't stop a thin layer of sweat from forming on their skin, even after stripping down to their boxers.  Aiichirou rolled over, grimacing at the way he peeled himself off his sheets, and climbed on top of Sousuke.

"Ai, it's too hot."

"But I wanna be close to you."  Aiichirou rested his cheek against Sousuke's chest, their warm skin sticking together uncomfortably, and let his legs fall on either side of Sousuke's hips.

"Ai."

Aiichirou let out a frustrated whine and stayed right where he was.  He closed his eyes and listened to Sousuke's heartbeat and started to drift off to the soft thumping in combination with the rhythmic rise and fall of Sousuke's chest.  His eyes fluttered open when he felt Sousuke run his fingertips down his back, feather light touches along his spine.  Immediately, his eyes slipped back closed and he sighed.  Sousuke explored, running his fingers along Aiichirou's shoulder's, his thighs, his arms, his sides, anywhere he could reach.  Aiichirou melted into him, like ice cream left in the sun.

"Feels good."

Sousuke didn't stop touching.  "You feel good."

Comfortable silence stretched between the two before Aiichirou shifted his hips, feeling slightly aroused.  "Sousuke?  Can I...?"

Sousuke slid his hand to the back of Aiichirou's neck and held him, like one would hold something precious to their heart.  "Can you?"

Aiichirou licked his lips.  "Can I... Can we...?"  He huffed and wiggled his hips, brushing his slight erection against Sousuke's stomach.  "Please, Sousuke.  I want to..."

Sousuke didn't answer right away and when he did, his voice was deep, almost a whisper.  "What... What do you want to do?"

Aiichirou's heart skipped a beat.  "I want you to touch me."

The hand on the back of his neck squeezed before disappearing.  "Come here."

Aiichirou scooted himself up along Sousuke's body so he could accept Sousuke's kiss, sliding their mouths together as Sousuke let his hands roam, sliding down Aiichirou's back to his bottom.  He cupped Aiichirou's cheeks and squeezed, then ran his hands down the back of Aiichirou's thighs, pulling his legs further apart.  Aiichirou sat up, breathless after their kiss, and reached back to Sousuke's hands, guiding them to his lower stomach.  Sousuke looked up at Aiichirou, and they held each other's gaze until Aiichirou nodded.  Sousuke took his time, dragging his finger along the elastic band, watching in complete awe as Aiichirou's stomach muscles twitched under his touch.  He hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he tugged the band down and gently took hold of Aiichirou's cock, and exhaled slowly through his nose.  Aiichirou watched him with lidded eyes, his mouth parted slightly as he panted.  Sousuke looked up at his boyfriend one more time before he slowly started to stroke him, rubbing his thumb lightly at the slit.

"A-ah! Ah!  Not-- Too much... That's too much..."

"Sorry."  Sousuke took a shaky breath and continued to move his hand, carefully, trying to gauge Aiichirou's reactions.  Aiichirou let his eyes slip closed and started to thrust his hips in time with Sousuke.

"Oh, _Sousuke_..."

Sousuke didn't answer, couldn't answer, couldn't form coherent thoughts as he watched Aiichirou come apart on top of him, squirming and thrusting, arching his back and chasing his pleasure.  It was the most erotic thing Sousuke had ever seen.

"Sousuke!  I'm so close!  Faster!"  Sousuke picked up his pace, pleased to hear Aiichirou moan in response.  Aiichirou's breath came in short gasps, punctuated by quick, stacatto moans, and he threw his head back as his hips faltered in their rhythm and he came across Sousuke's chest in two spurts.

"Sou...! ...Sousuke..."

Sousuke stared up, completely hypnotized by the way Aiichirou's chest heaved with his breaths, the way his hair fell over his eyes when he brought his head down, the way his lips quirked up at the sight of Sousuke beneath him.

Aiichirou broke the spell when he pulled himself slowly out of Sousuke's hand and tucked himself away, and then flopped over onto the small space next to Sousuke he had occupied earlier.

"Sousuke..."

"Ai...  Ai, that was... you were."  He couldn't finish his sentence.  Aiichirou looked over and smiled lazily.

"That felt so good, Sousuke."

Sousuke swallowed.  His first sexual experience.  He just had his first sexual experience.  And it was the most beautiful thing Sousuke had ever witnessed with his own eyes.

"Can I touch you now?"  Aiichirou looked at him with a light in his eyes, like he could devour Sousuke.  Sousuke could only nod his head.  "What do you want me to do?"

"A-anything you want, Ai."

Aiichirou blushed and sat up, hiding his face with his shoulder as he peeked behind him at Sousuke.  "Anything?"

Sousuke licked his lips and nodded.  "Whatever you want to do."

"I'm going to give you a blowjob, then.  Is that okay?"

Sousuke's mouth felt dry.  He nodded his head again.  Aiichirou knelt at Sousuke's side, his knees touching his hip, and he raked his eyes over Sousuke's body.

"Okay, here I go."  Aiichirou bit his lip, feeling shyer than he thought he would and pulled down Sousuke's boxers.  Sousuke lifted his hips up and helped shimmy the clothing off, kicking it off the foot of the bed.  Now that he was completely nude, he felt over exposed and covered his eyes with his arm.  Aiichirou looked down at Sousuke's cock surprised at how different it looked from Rin's, Sousuke's being bigger and thicker.  Sousuke also had more body hair than Rin and it was jarring.  Aiichirou was used to pale skin and thin dark, red hair topping a thinner, smoother cock.  Sousuke was something entirely new.  Still, he wasn't deterred and leaned down, taking the base of Sousuke's cock in one hand, and licking along the vein on its underside.  That was something he wasn't used to feeling under his tongue and he licked along it again.

"Oh my god, Ai..."

Aiichirou flicked his eyes to Sousuke, who was bright red and hiding behind his arm.

"Do... do you not like it?"

Sousuke laughed.  "Shit, Ai, no, I like it."

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes... Oh my god... this is happening..."

Aiichirou thought Sousuke's flustered behavior was strange.  But then again, he was shocked the first time he got a blowjob, too.  Aiichirou leaned back down and wrapped his lips around the head, getting used to the unfamiliar shape, before sliding his head down slowly.  It was almost unreal how much quicker Sousuke filled him up.  He wasn't even halfway down yet.  Usually he could fit Rin three quarters of the way down before he triggered his gag reflex.  He gave a few strokes of his hand and started to bob his head, stopping every so often to suck at the head and tongue the slit, giving his lips a rest.  It didn't take long at all before Sousuke was voicing his impending orgasm, and Aiichirou pulled almost all the way off, leaving Sousuke's cock resting on his tongue as he stroked.  When he felt Sousuke twitch he opened his mouth wider, letting him come inside and then he closed his lips around Sousuke and sucked, swallowing down his release.

" _Holy fucking shit._ "

Aiichirou pulled off, panting.  Sousuke sat up on his elbows, staring at Aiichirou like he was a god.

"Holy.  Shit.  Ai.  Holy fuck."

Aiichirou rubbed the back of his neck, confused.  "Did you like it?"

"How the fuck did you learn-- Oh _man_ , I can't believe-- Holy shit."  Sousuke flopped back down and scrubbed his face before smiling and opening his arms.  "Come here, Ai."

Aiichirou crawled into his embraces, still unsure.

"Ai.  That was the most amazing thing you have ever done to me, well besides agreeing to go out with me but... wow."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So it was good, then?"

"Ai, it was fucking unreal.  You are unreal.  I can't believe you're my boyfriend."  Sousuke covered his face again and laughed, a rare show of emotion.  Aiichirou smiled, but tilted his head, still put off.  It was just a blowjob, it was supposed to feel like that.

"Sousuke?"

He peeked through his fingers at Aiichirou.

"I can't believe you're my boyfriend either."

The two stared at each other before Sousuke squeezed him to his chest, nuzzling his nose in Aiichirou's hair.  The two fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, a nude Sousuke clutching to Aiichirou like he was the world, uncaring of the sweat and dried come on their skin.

* * *

 

\--17, 15--

Rin had grown to be a tall teenager, much taller than most of his classmates.  He had broad shoulders and defined muscles, his body toned from being an athlete.  He towered over Aiichirou, who didn't put on muscle mass like his brother, and was thin and lean, much like the endurance athlete he was.  He had shown that he could excel in long distance swimming, and slowly started expanding to cross country, being cautious of his breathing troubles.

Aiichirou was laying in Rin's bed, almost asleep when Rin's voice woke him up.

"I don't think we should do this anymore."

"Do what?"  Aiichirou's mind was slow and foggy, still half in slumber.

Rin waved his hand, motioning between them.  " _This_.  Like.  Whatever this is."

Aiichirou was awake now.  "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, Ai.  You're telling me you have no idea what I'm talking about."

Aiichirou tilted his head and bit his lip, trying to think of what his brother could be referring to.  "I... I don't know?"

"Are you that fucking oblivious?"  Rin ignored the way his brother flinched.  "Ai, we've been fucking.  We're brothers.  We're not supposed to do that."

"We're not fucking!"

"We are!"

"You don't need to yell!"

Rin scowled at his brother but lowered his voice.  "Ai, we have been sexually active together."

"I know.  But we haven't fucked."

"Ai, sex isn't only defined by penetration--," Rin cut himself off with a huff, "Not the point.  The point is, we've been sexually active together.  You... you don't see anything wrong with that?"

Aiichirou looked down at the comforter, trying to count how many pieces of lint he saw, anything to distract his mind from this conversation.

"Ai."

"What?"

"Answer me."

"I... I know that people think it's wrong but... But I never felt what we do was wrong.  A-and I still don't!  You're my brother, you're Rin.  You're who I go to for anything.  You're who makes me feel good.  Do _you_ think it's wrong?"

Rin was quiet for some time.  "But now you have Sousuke.  You do stuff with him, I know you do, cause I can hear you two going at it like, _all_ the time," Rin rolled his eyes and Aiichirou blushed, "So why do you have to come to me still?"

"Cause you're my brother!"

"Ai, that's not--"

"And you still haven't answered _my_ question, Rin."  Aiichirou furrowed his brow in a determined pout.

"What question."

"Do you think it's wrong?"

Rin opened his mouth to snap that _yes, he thought it was wrong, of course he thought it was wrong,_ but stopped himself, because the answer wasn't as easy as that.  That pressure in his chest was back and it squeezed his heart every time he looked at his brother, every time he tried to deny Aiichirou, every time he tried to deny himself.  He thought back on their mother's concern and Sousuke's words all those years ago, and although he know recognized what he and his brother were doing was filed under Bad Things, he didn't want to face reality.  Facing reality mean that Sousuke and his mom was right, and that Rin really screwed his brother up by not listening.  But he couldn't run from the feeling inside of him any longer, the creeping guilt that made him feel uneasy and anxious.  He's matured past the point of childlike curiosity and now was only encouraging his brother to believe that casual sexual acts with a sibling was acceptable.  At his core, Rin _did_ see his dynamic with Aiichirou as wrong and he didn't know what felt worse, the fact he's been intimate with his brother or that he's admitting they should stop.  He almost felt like he betrayed himself.  He laid back and sighed, completely deflating.

"Yes," Rin's voice was soft, "It feels wrong now.  It's been feeling wrong for a while now.  I can't let this go on any longer."

Aiichirou bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth.  Finally, he hung his head down and shrugged.  "Okay."

"Okay?"

Aiichirou nodded.  "Yeah."

"Just... Just like that?"  Rin side eyed his brother skeptically.

"Yeah, if you don't want to, then we won't."

"I... I still love you, okay?  Like I'm not mad at you or anything.  I'm going to college soon and I'm older now, we're not kids anymore, Ai.  It's not the same."

"Yeah."  Aiichirou lifted his head and smiled.  "You're right."

Rin nodded.  "Okay, good."

* * *

 

\--24, 22--

"Sousuke?"

Aiichirou walked into his small apartment balancing a bag of groceries on his hip.  He bumped the door closed with his hip and slipped his shoes off before padding into the kitchen, placing the bag on the counter.

"Sou?"

The quiet hum of empty rooms answered him and Aiichirou sighed, pushing his bangs back off his forehead.  It was almost winter break and he was piled high with schoolwork, his senior thesis consuming his thoughts and time.  He began to put the groceries away, opening a bag of pretzels to snack on, getting lost in thought as he mentally reviewed his schedule for the night.

" _Boo._ "

Aiichirou screamed and would have dropped the jar of jam he was holding if Sousuke didn't catch it for him.  He didn't appreciate the amused glint in his boyfriend's eyes, but he was also relieved it was him and not an intruder.

"You left the door unlocked again."

Aiichirou smacked his forehead.  "Dammit, I'm sorry Sou.  I've been so stressed out lately."

A quick kiss to the top of his head helped relax him.  "It's okay, Ai.  Just try to remember next time, okay?"

"Right.  Sorry."

Sousuke hadn't gone to college, instead he went straight to work, following in his father's trade.  It was mutually agreed upon getting an apartment together once Aiichirou graduated high school, and then Aiichirou applied to local colleges.  He had since gotten over his fear of reptiles and bugs, thanks to Momo, and although they still grossed him out if he were to be honest, he could control his reactions around the critters.  It seemed natural for him to aspire to be a wildlife veterinarian with an acute focus in ducks and other water avian.

"We got this in the mail," Sousuke held up a red envelope with scripted type.

"Oh!" Aiichirou put aside his thoughts of homework and took the envelope from Sousuke, running his fingers along it.  The paper was thick and heavy, expensive feeling.  "Rin's official wedding invitation!"

Of course Aiichiriou knew about the wedding, he was helping Rin plan for it, but getting the invitation still made him giddy.  Everyone but Aiichirou was surprised when Rin announced his engagement, but Aiichirou knew it wouldn't have been much longer before Rin got married.  He was always a sap for love and happy endings.

"So.  You gonna open it or just stare at it."

Aiichirou rolled his eyes at Sousuke's snark and peeled open the invitation, which was sealed with wax.  Inside was a piece of thick paper.  " _You are formally invited to attend the marriage of Nitori Rin and Maxie Jones."_   Aiichirou's eyes scanned over the rest of the information and then stopped to take in the picture of Rin and his fiancé on some beach in Australia.  His brother looked so happy and in love.  To any other person, Rin looked like himself, but Aiichirou could see it.  The glint in Rin's eyes was the same when he used to look at Aiichirou when they were kids.  A wave of nostalgia washed over him and the image of Rin blurred.  He hadn't realized how much he missed his brother with how busy his life has been.  All the phone calls didn't make up for the distance between them and Aiichirou couldn't recall a time where he embraced Rin since after high school.  Had they really grown apart?  No, that didn't make sense, he and Rin were still close as ever, despite physically being in different countries.  Then why did Aiichirou suddenly feel so hollow?

"Ai, you okay?"

"Huh?"

"You're crying.  And not saying anything.  Just staring at the invitation."

"Oh," Aiichirou laughed and wiped away tears he didn't realize were falling, "I guess I'm just really happy for Rin.  And I guess I miss him, too."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."  Aiichirou handed Sousuke the card.

Sousuke glanced it over quick before sticking to the fridge with a magnet.  "Cute."

\--

That night for the first time, Aiichirou thought about Rin while he and Sousuke made love.  He thought about how Rin might sound now that he's older, how different Rin would feel, how it would feel to have his brother's hand around him, to have him _inside_.

 _Fuck_...

Aiichirou stared at the ceiling over Sousuke's shoulder, panting while Sousuke thrust into him.  Why now, of all times, was he thinking about those days when he used to kiss Rin, when they used to experiment and explore each other's bodies?  He had almost forgotten about those moments, those intimate, private moments that were swept under the rug.  Hidden away in the dark, dusty corners of his mind.  But now the storage room had been opened, unlocked, and all his memories were coming to light.  He still loved his brother in ways he had been told he was not supposed to.  He missed it.  How it made him feel safe, special, like he had the whole world in his arms.

Why did Rin stop touching him?  Why did he leave the country?  Why didn't Rin ever hug him the few times a year he visited?

Aiichirou gasped out at the sudden pain through his chest.  _Rin doesn't love me anymore_...

"Ai?"  Sousuke had stopped moving and was looking down at him.

"Sou?"

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"Huh?" Aiichirou blinked.

"Ai?  What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Sousuke frowned and slowly pulled out.  "Hey, something's wrong, I can tell."

"No... No there's not... Please don't stop..."

"You look like you're about to cry."

Hearing the word must have triggered a response because before Aiichriou could help it, his lip wibbled and the tears welled up.  "No, Sousuke, please don't stop... Please..."

"Ai, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing... Please continue... I..." _Need you_.  Aiichriou reached up and held Sousuke's face, bringing him down for a kiss.  "Please Sousuke.  I love you."

"I love you too, Ai... you know that, but I'm not gonna--"

"I don't know that!"  Aiichirou stared up at Sousuke with wide eyes, surprised at his own admission.

"You... Don't?"  Sousuke looked confused.  He studied Aiichirou's face.  "I... I thought you knew, all these years we've said it to each other... I..." Sousuke trailed off and licked his lips.  "What am I doing to make you doubt me?  I want to show you how much I really do love you."

"You're not doing anything wrong, Sousuke... I'm just..." _Scared that you'll tell me one day you want to stop and then never acknowledge parts of our relationship ever again,_ "Feeling insecure. I'm sorry."

"Is this because Rin's getting married?"

"W-what?"

"Like... You know.  He's getting married... And... we're not?"

Aiichirou sighed and then let out a laugh.  "Oh.  No.  Maybe.  Wait, I didn't mean it like that... It's too early to talk about marriage with us... Right? Um.  No, wait.  Ah, Sousuke!"

Sousuke laughed and stroked the side of Aiichirou's cheek.  "Ai, it's okay.  We're still young, we don't have to talk about big decisions like that yet.  If that's how you're feeling I understand.  I want to help you feel better, okay?"

Aiichirou nodded his head.  "Okay.  Thank you."  After a moment he looked away shyly.  "Um, can you continue?  I... I'm okay now.  I want you to continue."

He closed his eyes as Sousuke kissed his cheek.  "Okay, love."

Aiichirou kept his eyes closed and wrapped his legs around Sousuke's waist.  If his nails digging into Sousuke's shoulders hurt, Sousuke didn't show it.  He rolled his hips into Aiichirou's, slowly making love to him, while he panted into Aiichirou's neck.

Aiichiriou inhaled Sousuke's scent, comforted by it, how it covered him, how Sousuke could devour him whole.  He wanted that, he wanted to be Sousuke's; to be held forever.

* * *

 

\--25, 23--

Rin's wedding was in Australia, due to the large amount of people from his fiancé's side attending.  Only Rin's closest family and friends were flying out to see the two become joined in matrimony.

Aiichiriou adjusted his bowtie, nerves getting the best of him.  It was still a few hours until the ceremony, but that was all the more time for Aiichirou to work himself up.

"Hey, aren't I the one who's supposed to look like I'm gonna piss myself?"

Aiichirou jumped at the sound of Rin's voice.  He turned around and relaxed, smiling at his brother.  "I hope you're not going to do that, Rin.  Weddings aren't supposed to be the end of the world."

"Who said anything about it being the end of the world?"

"Ah, no one, I just assumed...?  Ha, never mind.  I'm fine, Rin."

He fiddled with his bowtie again.

"Hey, you don't have to wear that thing yet if it's bothering you.  You can put it on right before we leave."

"It's fine.  It's just nerves I think."

Rin smirked.  "Just wait til your own wedding."

He tried to laugh, he did, but he only grimaced instead.

"Ai, jeeze you really don't look okay.  Are you feeling sick?"

"N-no... I'm fine.  I promise.  I think I'm just overwhelmed?  But don't worry about me, I don't want to make today be about myself, it's your day.  Don't let your little brother steal the spotlight."

Rin ruffled Aiichirou's hair, just like when they were kids.  "Making sure you're not about to pass out isn't "stealing the spotlight" just so you know."

Aiichirou looked down at the floor, unable to meet Rin's eyes.  "Yeah, but it's also not the best day to have a therapy session about my life."

Rin frowned.  "I suppose it's not.  But if you're unhappy about stuff or just need to vent, you can always talk to me."

"Yeah.  Thanks, Rin."  Aiichirou smiled, but it was forced.  "I'm going to grab some water."

"Hey, Ai?"

He turned around in the doorway to face Rin, who all of a sudden looked small.  "Yeah?"

"You're... you're okay, right?  Like not right now, but in general?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you seem... off.  I guess.  Like you're not how you used to be.  Able to brighten a room just by walking in."

Aiichirou shrugged.  "I guess life is not how it used to be."

"Sousuke is treating you good?  You're not fighting with him or anything?"

He laughed genuinely this time, "We're fine, Rin.  Sousuke spoils me."

"Ah... well..." Rin rubbed the back of his neck and smiled bashfully, "Just know that if you ever need to talk to me, I'll always listen."

He's not sure what made him say it, but in an instant Aiichirou's face went blank and it was like he was talking underwater, like his words were muffled and detached, and he couldn't even hear himself as he asked Rin a question.

Rin stared at his brother, his mouth slightly agape and lost for words.  "...What?"

Aiichirou repeated himself, this time his words were barely a whisper, but they were the most loud he's ever heard himself speak, his voice booming throughout his mind.  "You remember when we used to kiss each other, right?"

Rin scrubbed his hands over his face and laughed, but it was humorless.  "Ai, what brought _this_ on?"

He furrowed his brow, Rin's tone hurting more than it should.  He must have been pouting cause Rin sighed.

"Yes.  I do."

"And how we used to tou--"

"Yes, god dammit, Ai, I fucking remember.  Why the hell are you bringing it up now?"

Aiichirou looked away.  He hated when Rin got angry.  Rin never used to get angry about what they did until after they stopped.  "I... I don't know.  I'm sorry, Rin.  I guess I just wanted to know if you had forgotten.  You just... act like it never happened."

" We were kids, it's irrelevant, I don't know why you're even _talking_ about it!"

Aiichirou looked up at his brother.  Rin's voice didn't match his face.  His voice was angry and accusing, but all Aiichirou could see was guilt.  "I'm sorry, Rin.  I won't talk about it anymore."

"No, you won't."

"But I still think about it."

"Well you shouldn't."

"But I do."

Rin huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.  "Well that's fucking great, how about we end this conversation, what do you think?  Of all the fucking days you decide to bring all that up..."

Aiichirou watched his brother pace.  "I don't want to think about it, though, Rin!  I wish we never did any of it cause then I wouldn't feel like this, like you stopped loving me.  I know when you wanted to stop you said you still loved me and we were still best friends, and I know we talk on the phone every week, but now you don't even hug me anymore and I feel like I'm doing something wrong!  How can I feel like I'm doing something wrong when we see each other only twice a year!"

"You regret it?"  Rin sounded almost hopeful.

"Yes!  I regret all of it!  If I had known you would have stopped one day I wouldn't have ever let you start!"

"Hey! You initiated that shit too! Don't put it all on me!  In fact, you almost always initiated it!"

"But you're the one who said it was bad!"

"Cause it was!"

Aiichirou covered his face with his hands.  "Then why am I the only person who didn't think so?"

"Cause you're obviously fucked up."

It felt like the world stopped.  Aiichirou stared at Rin, disbelief flashing across both of their faces.

"No, wait, Ai."

"I..."  Aiichirou looked around the room, looking for an escape, forgetting he was standing in the doorway.

"No, fuck, oh my god.  I didn't mean that, Ai.  You're not fucked up, please don't..." Rin took a step towards him and Aiichirou stepped back.  "No, Ai, please just listen to me."

"Why."

"I don't have a reason why you should listen to a piece of shit like me.  But just hear me out and let me be selfish one more time and get my last words in before you leave."

Aiichirou swallowed and nodded.  Rin thanked whatever god that was still looking out for him that Aiichirou was a patient human.

"I'm fucking sorry.  Not for what I just said, well yes that too, but what I mean is I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything.  I'm sorry I let what we did get out of control, I'm sorry I encouraged you when you were younger, I'm sorry I was a disgusting, selfish older brother who didn't take care of you the way I was supposed to.  I let it get out of hand, I should have never done that shit with you, and I'm sorry I made it into something special.  I'm sorry I took something so despicable and wrong and warped it as a positive thing for you.  I'm just... I'm sorry Ai.  This shit has haunted me for years and I can't bring myself to think about it because it makes me realize I'm one of the worst human beings on this planet and I don't deserve the happiness I've been given."

Aiichirou was quiet, mulling over Rin's apology.  "Hey... Rin?"

Rin looked at his brother, eyes hesitant and searching.

"I... I don't think you're bad.  You were a kid, too, you know."

"Ai, I was seventeen and blowing my fifteen year old brother.  I was well aware what I was doing to you, I was aware that you _weren't_ aware, and I did it anyway.  Sure, at first I didn't realize what our actions really entailed, but around when I hit fifteen it felt wrong, _but I still did it for two years_.  I'm just... I have no excuse for myself, but I want to let you know I'm sorry.  For everything I've done to you."

"I... thought that you didn't love me anymore.  You just stopped then you graduated and went abroad and then the few times I did see you in person you were different towards me.  When you stopped it felt like I lost you."

Rin wiped his eyes.  "I'm sorry.  This is too much."

Aiichirou bowed his head in agreement.  "I shouldn't have said anything on your wedding day."

"Well, what can you do.  I obviously fucked you over." Rin immediately cringed at his choice of words.  "I think today should be a day of new beginnings.  Not just for me and Maxie, but for me and you."

Aiichirou jerked his head up.  "What do you mean?"

"It means," Rin pulled his brother into an embrace, "I want my brother back.  In a normal, functional sibling relationship.  I want you to be happy, to live your life to its fullest, and not let something I did to you for fifteen years ruin your potential."

Aiichirou blinked rapidly as tears stung his eyes and he slowly brought his arms around Rin's back, splaying his hands over the expensive suit fabric and staring at the ceiling.  "You need to be happy too for that to happen.  We both need to get better."

"I think... I think we should talk to someone.  Like a therapist."

"Okay."

Rin gave his brother a squeeze before letting him go.  Aiichirou's smile was infectious and Rin smiled back.

"New beginnings.  Okay, Ai?"

Aiichirou nodded.  "For the both of us."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Let me know if you have any questions


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